Sunday 5 February 2012

OMG I'm back...............

Wow, I cant believe its been nearly 12 months since I last blogged. So sorry for not updating it sooner, but meh not been able to really...... I'd better explain what has happened over the last 12 months of my life then....

Well thepeople who know me know I love my gran to bits and would do anything I could to make her life any easier. So I was in total shock when I was told she had been rushed into hospital and was almost dead. She had contracted a virus and it had wiped her out almost and was not expected to pull through cos she was so weak. Anyways she did pull through but it was a very slow process and it meant I had to stay up north more than I would of wanted to, but if needs must needs must... During that time I to was still suffering with my back complaint, and my medication was getting increased to combat this, but there has to be a limit and over the last 12 months I have virtually hit that limit of daily Morphine I am able to take daily, but meh I'll survive.

So my time spent up north was worth it because my family got to see me more than they or I could of imagined, and of course well I like to think so anyways my gran pulled through and I think it was down to me being there for there. I would visit twice a day in hospital, she was there for 3 months or so and then she was moved to Glossop for re-habiltation, basically because she had spent so long in bed that she needed physio and other things to be then able to leave.
The problem with Glossop is that its miles from her home, and me having the car I then would take my family on different days of the week to see her, but I would go everyday with someone else ie Mother, sister & brothers. She was in there for over 2 months so you can see were my time had been spent. But it was worth it, like I said my family got to see me more but that meant Jo didnt, but I took the trip back home every 3 weeks or so to re charge my batteries and spend some time with Jo, who was so understanding and it could not of been nice for her and me knowing how much she hated her job but to then come home to an empty house, but she and I coped because we had to really.
So that was summer been and gone, and then gran decided she didnt want to go back to her flat, so it was discussed and she and I decided she needed to go into a nursing home. So after looking into it and trying to get her into one near home it was an achievement to get her in and accepted into the one we wanted.
I had the task of then trying to empty her flat of everything and by the time all that was sorted it was mid Autumn. Yes I could finally go home and chill out with Jo..... Was it worth it, yeah of course it was. It brought me and my brother closer along with my mum. Me and my other sister made up after something like 15 yrs of not seeing her, and now knowing that my gran was being looked after and was getting the care she needed.
All of that had basically killed me off never mind my gran, so I needed to help myself now. I starting seeing my counsellor again, and I had to start again with my hospital treatment after missing 2 appointments. But that was due to me not being to well and over sleeping. I mentioned the meds had been increased but the also the side effects had gotten worse to. I can sleep for anything from 12 hrs to 16 hrs everyday, which on its own is scary, but added to that are the constant nightmares I have, the hot sweats and coldness are common practise now. I still suffer with the sharp pains and I try not to move anywhere quickly.
I am now on 7 different kinds of med's which need to be taken daily. The depression is also a killer, so trying to find any amount of time to be able to play poker is really rare, but I do manage to still play. Its nothing like I use to, and need to take breaks about every 90 mins max, so the long tournaments are a thing of the past now.

So what do I have going for me then...... Well I am still on this Jesus challenge. One of my poker goals was to play at least 5k of cash hands in the yr, yes I said in the year.... So I was thrilled to pull it off by the end of Jan. I have a great rakeback deal on a boss skin which is 55% and its supported by Sporting Odds so there is little chance of it going bump. So that takes up most of my time now. I have just joined Pokerstars.fr and there are some real good tournaments without the 1000's of runners like on normal stars. I have a couple of OnGame sites going with some good incentives, its just trying to find enough time to fit it all in.

So the challenge is back now, and although I have suffered somewhat regards a losing streak it is still over the 2k mark. thats € and not $. So trying to gain some sort of forward momentum. I will break down some sessions and go into some details in the next update. But just wanted to let you know I am back, and fingers crossed it wont be another 12 months before the next update....