Tuesday 16 January 2018

Still not quite there yet

With the death of my Father in Law on Christmas Eve and the wife not coping at all well, my poker is taking a while longer to take off. I have been playing, but with the lack of sleep and other personal stuff to sort out, it’s not really been the start I was hoping for. But I have played a number of hands and despite my rustiness I have enjoyed some success. I have opted to slowly get back into it rather than full steam ahead and playing $100 sit n gos. Actually I never played those when I was in my prime.
For those you have read this blog over the years know I’m very very cautious when it comes to Bankroll management. It’s just a shame I can’t replicate that with my gambling, but with poker I’ve always had a good head for my bankroll. So it’s no surprise I didn’t play those $100 with me needing at least $10k to play one. Again, for those whom have been with me for these years know I did just do that, make $10k from nothing, but I chose to treat myself to a trip to Vegas. It did take me 4.5 yrs to complete it, so I did deserve it.......
If truth be known, I’m really really struggling with day to day life at present. I’ve often poured my heart out in this blog over the years, basically because I have no one to talk to really. I’m alone all day once the Mrs goes to work, on top of the death of her dad and the shite that her 3 brothers come out with recently have really angered me. My mental health is piss poor and my driving is really really aggressive with not a care if I live or die. I should take myself to the GP, but I can’t even be arsed to do that. They let me down a few yrs ago now and I’m reluctant to want to go back. I have a ton of paperwork to do and the to do list is getting longer and longer. I thought poker would be a welcome distraction and like I’ve said, I have played, but my heart is not in it at present. We still have another week before the funeral. Oppss, my bad, we are not allowed to call it that. Nor are we allowed to wear black. Yes, that’s how bizarre things are and no wonder I’ve lost the plot.
My gambling I have to admit is way out of control. I’ve always been able to sort of know when to give up but this time it’s different. It’s a very welcome distraction I have to admit and I’ve used this technique for over 30 yrs, but this is different. Once I start I’m finding it so hard to stop and the losses are huge but so are the wins which then fund the next session. But I can’t stop which is something I have always done previously. I don’t want to go down the road of Gambling problem because I do enjoy it and if I do go down that route, my poker would be classed as gambling which I would have to stop and I’m just not prepared to do that. But it’s obvious I have to do something. I’m currently thinking of a 6 month banning order which I can fill out online at the various online casinos I’m playing at. But what would I do to fill that gap that’s always been there? That’s why I’m just at the thinking stage at present. How would I cope not being able to distract myself, will I go further into depression which I have to repeat is probably the worse I’ve ever been in my life. If I didn’t have so many people depending on me it’s a sure thing that I wouldn’t be here telling you about it. But that’s what keeps me going day by day.
Letting it out on here does help me and although it might not be Poker it is indeed connected to poker. Without this back ground information readers simply wouldn’t know how much you need to be able to play poker with a some what clear head and if me typing it all on here helps me, then it’s got to be good for me. But I have played poker, it’s just not the volume I would of liked, but considering the above it’s amazing I have played at all. I’m not yet playing back on PokerStars. I don’t have that level of concentration yet to be able to play a 4000 player field. Instead opting to play the 3 man hyper Sit n Gos at $3 a pop. It’s probably best to actually, because my aggression when I play is to much aggression. I’m literally 3 barrelling almost every hand and it’s no surprise I’m losing most of these. But I do know how to beat these and I do know which hands are good v an all in range, so although it looks like I get lucky when I’m calling an all in with just 4 5 suited, I know I’m slightly just a dog v any random shove. Also the low stakes means the players that play these limits are literally every man and his dog with the semi decent players never ever going this low. But you can make a decent wedge and I must be the only poker player that does not think playing these super low limits is detrimental to your ego. Money is money and to me anyway, I’d rather take loads of easy money v fighting it out with umpteen semi decent players for a half decent return. I just need to try and get my head in a state that benefits my playing abilities.
Small steps an all that........
I did however manage to win my last game for a x6 multiple of my stake, which helped. More updates in about a week and as ever, thanks for reading x

Tuesday 2 January 2018

An so we have lift off.

It’s the end of the 1st Jan and I managed to get in about 2 hours of play. Nothing amazing really, just sitting on a 6 max table on Sky clicking away. I did double my buy in, but I ran my 2nd nuts into the Nuts which cost me that said buy in.
I have to remember that playing at these limits, players do not play ‘standard’ poker, with lots of limping with literally any 2 cards, to the overbet river shove for 100BB into a pot of just 10BB. But it was a good session, I didn’t feel sleepy or get bored, it was good.
I’m also not going to blog after every session. This was just because it being the first day properly. I do keep thinking of another Jesus $10k challenge, but the thought of playing those free rolls freaks me out. So I’m going to carry on playing during the week and see if I can come up with something similar. One idea is either $100 to $25000 or £10 to £10k. I need to read up on online poker and see what sites are still operating and which have folded. I do like the IPN or Boss network and there is also the microgamming network and you could forget ipoker..... Actually I’ll do it now. I’ll speak later in the week with all the updates.

Monday 1 January 2018

Happy New Year and welcome 2018.

It’s arrived and we are now in 2018 and that means I’m now a poker player once again. But for how long remains to be seen, but hopefully I can continue playing.
My Bankroll is just £30 on Sky and $28 on 888.
I do have $850 on PokerStars but I need to play more hours before I entertain PokerStars. That’s because of the size of tournaments which means 8 hours and more of continued play and I’m not ready for that just yet. They do however have the Spin n Gos which I do like, so I could play a few of them.
I really want to play on the Boss Media or IPN as it’s called, but don’t know a UK site or foreign site that lets UK players play. In the haste to follow suit with the US, the government decided that in order for any bookmaker who wished to conduct business had to be licensed in the U.K. instead of abroad so they could collect the taxes from the British players. Bookmakers said yeah do one and the amount of poker sites literally vanished overnight in the U.K.
But that’s political bollox and I can’t be arsed. So it’s 30 minutes into the new year, so it’s sleep time and fully rested for tomorrow.
Bring it on!