Not good

I don't have too long, so I will try and explain whats what.

I was discharged late Monday night, with me being in more pain than before the 2ND Op.
My surgeon explained to me that what I had removed in cement ( which was the term called for the leakage of between my disc ) that it was certainly not the cause of my pain, and there is nothing else she can do now. She doesn't know what the problem is now and it was decided that I was just one of the 5% that this AxiaLif Op I had 1st did not work on.

Like I said I am in more pain now than before I went in for the 2ND Op, and I have been told I should not be in this pain because I had a Bi-Lat Microsurgery, and people are sent home the next day with no pain what so ever, so I knew something else was wrong now.
I have been told that I must give it 8 weeks for all the bruising and the wound to heal, but after the 8 weeks whatever state I am in after will be my final state. Its been mentioned I might of suffered Permanent Nerve damage from the 1st Op, if so I am screwed anyway.

Present condition is still very sore. I am still in the same pain I was in when I come round after the Op. Nothing has calmed down, and at the moment I still look like ET when attempting to walk. I suffer big time whenever I move the bottom of my spine. I have been told I can not sit for longer than 20 Min's for 6 weeks and at the moment I am unable to so anyway.

They have upped my already top of the range painkillers dosage to double what I was taking, and I still feel the pain, granted far less after taking the medication, but It still doesn't stop me from screaming out whenever I move the bottom of spine.

The Next step is to wait the 8 weeks, and see what state I am in, and than I will know the full extent of the damage and then its off to London St Guy's Hospital to see a chronic Pain Management team on how to deal with the pain long term. I am also going to see about going to a shrink, because this as Knocked me for 6 and at the moment I am vulnerable to Suicide thoughts. You can imagine how I am feeling right now. I have to lie down for most of the day, be drugged up and basically just waste away while suffering chronic pain spasms in my back, as well has knowing there is nothing Else that can be done.

So for the above reasons I will not be around too much if at all during the next 6 weeks.

Sorry it is so negative, but I do not know what else to say or do. I should not be in the pain I am in from the 2ND Op, I will have to deal with the problem after the 8 weeks and even if I do heal back to my condition before this Op it is still no fun, which if you saw me in Brum you would know.

This as taken me most of the day to write this via an email, and then copied and pasted if your wondering.........


Darren

So tomorrow is the day...

Ok the OP is tomorrow, and will be in for a week, so no updates until I return from Hospital. I will update once I am able to, and then hopefully be able to play some poker on the 1st July. Everything crossed of course !

Still all quiet on the Western front......

Hell, I think its called! Thats what I am going through at the moment......

I haven't got a clue what, whom or anything else thats going on with me. I cant sleep which I have put down to the change in Medication. When I do sleep, I cant wake up. I am not eating, which I need to of course, but I have to in order to take the medication. I still have no chair for the computer, so if I was able to play any poker at all I would find it hard because of the pain while sitting on a hard back stool.
I just have no get up and go, and I am really struggling with the depression at the moment, obv not helping with the reasons above. But I guess I only have to wait another 4 days, and then its the OP.
Who knows...... this time next week....... It could all be different.

So just a quick update on my progress, and why I haven't played or posted in here. Thanks for all who keep coming back to see if I have updated, and once I am out hopefully fully relieved of the back pain, I can then ditch the medication, and try and get on with this challenge.
One of my poker goals for 2010 was to make it to at least €2k. So some hard work going to be needed, if I want to reach that goal by the end of the year !

All quiet on the Western Front.

Sorry folks, but with no recling Chair cos its broke, pills sending me into a world of forgetfullness coupled with me in a complete depessive state over the last 2 days, I thought it best I don't play until I feel a bit better.

Of course I am gutted and I know the people following this challenge will understand as well. Who knows I might feel a bit better tomorrow.......

I dont care I still won........

Felt so so today, but with not having a chair now because the reliner is broke, I cant sit for any length of time now, so its a bit difficult. But I Just need my fix for the day....

Played a couple of tables for a while and nothing stood out regards play.

Just short of 2 hours I played and managed 179 hands. Not great but like I said, I get my fix, and its about tolerable on the back. Checked the stats and I won 15c..... Hence the headline..... but its another green on chart, which is what counts, well it doesnt really :-0.

Hospital tomorrow for my pre Op Assessment @ 1-30 pm and considering its 2am at the moment I dont feel the slightest bit tired so getting up could prove difficult.

Time is a great healer ( Apprently )

Its strange..... Maybe I'm a bat or something. But when I take the pills from when I get up which is mid day ish to about 9 / 10pm I am monged with the pills, and then after I take them for the night I seem to wake up. Strange........

Anyways been Monged most of the day, and was still in pain, then about 10pm felt a bit ok ish and cracked open just a couple of tables, and watched Spooks on the other Monitor as well. Cant beat the old Multi-tasking.....

Nothing major to report really. Won 3/4 of a buy in virtually straight away, and that was it. It gradually went down and back up and back down, before I called it a day. I have said its going to be when and how I feel. But I aint half going to miss playing poker when in Hospital :-(

Tonight's figures are played x2 tables for 2.5 hours with a total of 292 hands played and winning €3.77 yes I said Winning.... Back over 1.4k again.

They have a promo running from the 11th June for entry into some freeroll to run along with the World cup, It starts off with 10k and every goal scored they increase it by €50 I think. So might get in that depending on the size of the fields.

Hook Line and suckered........

No recling chair, no relief from the pain. So what do I do....... Yup I play a little poker.
I take the pills @ 10 pm, and by midnight I was not feeling sleepy this time, so I cracked open 4 tables just for an hour.
Made a great start, and then Boom..... Not moaning, it happens. But when your down, its not nice to be kicked while your down.....
Me in SB with KJ and 3 limpers, and I just make it up and BB checks. Flop KKJ, happy days..... I bet out, I dont know why really, most of the time it gets folded round but I figured if someone bets out and I call its pretty obv I have it, so I elect to bet out 3/4 pot and Button calls. Turn a nothing card, again I bet 3/4 pot and again he calls. Ok so I am now rubbing my hands....... The worse 2 cards are obv the Q and ace if I was afraid of anything..... The river is the Ace. So to look weak and keep it cheap Just incase, I bet about 1/4 pot and he instant over bets the pot. So there I have him. I was going to call if he raised, and yes I still did. But I was not expecting to see AA though, which is what he showed. So yes I lost almost a buy in, and you cant do anything different. I was holding the 3rd nuts and I dont fold that at these levels. Just amazed he limped with AA I didnt even put him on AK, because you'd thought he would of raised pre.
Anyways I never recovered and after an hour I packed up when eventually the tables started to break.
Its very uncomfy for me now playing, and Like mentioned in previous posts with everything happening now, all I can do is play when I feel fit too. But with the added no chair, I cant sit on a normal chair for any length of time.
I have dipped back below the €1.4k but only just. But I expect to lose some nights, and tonight I could not of done anything different.
I played a total 377 hands tonight and lost €2.30. Although only minor losses I have only won 1 session in June, but its still when added up not even a buy in, I just dont like the red........

Will see how I feel tomorrow. Will still play, just a case of how long.

When your chips are down......

Well I can now say with confidence, that poker and new pills do not agree simples....

I tried yesterday and thought it might just be a blip, but I can not do both. Basically I slept for 10 hrs from 4am this morning to 2pm. Took the medication before 6pm and I was snoring my head off for 7-30 ish. Even when I woke @ 10pm I still felt like shit, but the worse part is, they dont touch the pain.
To make matters worse, my recling massage chair which was bought for me for christmas, has broke and now have to sit on a hard back chair, which doesnt help.

I tried a bit of poker, but to be honest, its killing me playing, and its suppose to be an enjoyable experience.
The poker gods must know as well, because I just know, in what little poker I played I was going to get mashed up tonight. I played a 20 man stt and went out on the bubble with AA v KK and of course the King flopped, funny thing was I expected it.
I tried to play some cash, but with the above reasons I quit after 100 odd hands.
I am really struggling to even write this, so Its best I just close.
I thank you for the continued support, but its just not happening for me at the moment!

Mixed emotions

I mentioned last night that I was going to be on the new medication from today, and yes I did take it. The problem I have is they do feck all for the pain, but I feel so drowsy after taking them, so I am finding it hard to concentrate enough, but also had another shock today in the post regards my back OP. It seems strange that you receive your appointment date for the OP the same day you have an MRI which I received this morning. The fact its bang in the middle of June now throws a spanner in the works regards my able to play a full month. So I have had to knock the 3 leagues I was going for, and basically just going to see how I go from now till the OP date which is on the 17th June.
I might start playing during the day, when I don't feel so bad. I know I don't really want to play during the day, and at the moment I am not convinced enough whether to try and rake the €100. I'm in Hospital for a week but after that I don't know if I will be mobile enough to get around to even play out the rest of the month. So will just have too see. But it might be wise just to do what I did tonight, and not over do anything, but just keep ticking over although I receive nothing back in rake if I don't reach that €100.

Anyways like I said I was feeling very drowsy, but went ahead about 10 pm and opened up 4 tables, and basically played till 1am. The really boring bit, is nothing really stands out tonight regards my cash games. I did play 5 stt and managed to cock all them up with 1 in particular....... The guy was prob wetting himself when I am betting into him on a board of Ace 5 9 rainbow, and me holding JJ, the turn brings another ace, so I shove because there's no way hes got an ace. I was right..... He didn't have an ace..... he had 2 of them for quads :-(
To be honest I did feel it hard to concentrate in them and also some other MTT's I played earlier in the night.

But back to the cash, and if I could pick 1 hand to post about I would er have to think hard........ I have just checked the Tracker and it shows something when my biggest winning hand was 3 4 off for €4.08.....Told you it was bad, and the biggest losing hand was when I held 88 and called a raise with it only for a shorty of €2 to shove, the raiser folded, and was pretty certain I was racing, and yup I was v AK..... Turn Ace river King, but that was my biggest losing hand for €2.....
On closer inspection of the Tracker after that hand the next biggest losing hand was 50c. Wow I must of been really zonked........ Well I wanted to know what effect the pills would have on me, and I guess I have my answer.

So tonights stats are, played 556 hands in 3 hours with a profit of €1.53, stops the losing streak of losing for the 3rd time in a row. Not massive, and I might even give the 10c rebuy I go tomorrow, my old trusty friend.

The effort just to write this is hard, and sorry for the poor English if you come across any, but its also painful to write.

Anyways thats me done for another night, and see what tomorrow brings.

Dont forget the bloody Batteries......

Went out early tonight in all the mtt's I played so I had some proper time to get stuck in.

I managed to sort the account out with regards the pending bonus, so now I can hammer it like I wanted to with the Juicy 45% rakeback.

So set off and after last night I thought the bedding in was ok after the time away so straight away opened x8 cash tables. But never really got going. It sounds pretty weird because I was getting some bluffs past but overall I had nothing to work with, and when you have 8 tables on the go, its sort of huh......
But carried on regardless and a quick check on the tracker showed I was in profit after 450 odd hands, another hour later with the same non starters and a couple of bluffs being called I was then down for the session with 800 odd hands played.

The tables I could sense were now struggling to stay full and then it happened.......

I suddenly had a rush of cards on all tables, and I was clicking all over the shop. I had 2 sets being played out and had betting going on and then NOOOOOOOOO the batteries in the cordless Mouse died.
Headset ripped off my head, running round trying to find the recharger with the spares but no it was too late, timed out and folded. I don't know how much it cost me but I was pissed so I then started closing down the tables. I had to move away because I was so annoyed, and when I checked the balance after it settled down I found I was down on the night. I would of been up otherwise, so a lesson learnt I guess. But overall I put my shift in and after checking my PT3 it shows I played a total of 1126 hands and was down €1.01 for the night.

Tomorrow is the start of the new drugs, the proper shitty ones. I honestly don't know how its going to be. I may find I am put on the lowest dose which wont effect me to start, and then gradually work up to a level were it will. I take 14 pills a day now and they dont do Jack for me, but combined with the new ones like I said I honestly dont know. I will of course keep you posted. For me not to carry on with this would probably see me off to be honest because its such a mental relaxant for me.

Also for the people who are on my facebook, you will see I am no longer on there. I have decided to delete the account until the Compensation claim is settled for personal privacy reasons.

So the break is over then........

Well its finally arrived, the 1st June......

But all is not well in the Plaza Camp. But why........

I thought I would slide myself in gradually before the x8 tables, so set off with just 4 tonight. Was not impressed when I lost a buy in with AA v KJ when he flopped 2 pair, and I didnt improve. But I managed a set v set all in on a flop of J 10 8 all diamonds, with either of us holding a diamond. He shoves and I think about folding, but its not something I do when holding top set, granted I could of been miles behind, but I had outs, like the AA hand. But with no 4th Diamond he flips 10 10 for middle set, also another all in on the flop but he was only half chipped up, but I won 1.5 buy in on 1 hand, and rules are rules I left when the Blinds reached me.

I had KK 4 times and amazingly I didnt meet AA, but didnt win much with all folds pre. Took a few small hits and decided to leave it for the night, when the time turned 1am.

I checked the Account and found I was up €7 but the tracker was showing I was down €3.11, then I noticed my pending Bonus had gone down €10.
I am pissed because I emailed the guy and told him I still had this Pending bonus still in the account and I was leaving it till the 1st June, when he told me the 45% rakeback will start. Which is why I never played since mid May. So after this I am going to email him and find out whats going on.

Anyways tonights figures are played a total of just 452 hands and with a loss of €3.11 but up overall on the account. I played just 2 hrs tonight because I have decided to play 3 leagues this month, and went quite deep in 1 and also another poker goal to make 1k without Buying in this year. Thats almost complete, and finished 31st from 850 ish runners. I am thinking that goal will be finished by the end of June.

Will let you know the outcome of the email, but if its the case I am still on the pending bonus I dont know what to do...........